Hi, my name is Kyn, and as far as I can remember, God has always been around. I was not close to my family while growing up yet somehow there’s always this “Guardian Angel” around watching my back and parenting me; found out later that He is God when I started Convent school. Just for info, I am neither Christian nor Catholic by birth. My father was a Taoist and mom an Omnist.
I “broke up” with God during a really rough patch in life, had no knowledge about trials and tribulations back then. Remembered yelling at Him, “How could You let things happen??!! If You allow things to happen, You are not my God!!!” Up to that point in time, the relationship was all about me, myself and I. That separation lasted ten years.
Now I see the treasures in His Word, and a better understanding of who He is and how He works. “We reap what we sow” (Galatians 6:7) … both good and bad. Cause and effect. This is the law of the universe. Then there are also life’s lessons we need to learn, to grow our soul and steer us towards His direction. And if these lessons are not learned, they will keep repeating until they are (Proverbs 26:11). God’s Peace, Love, Joy and Hope are unconditional, hence they are not tied to this world. Jesus said so himself: “Not as the world gives do I give to you.” (John 14:27) In fact, what He gives will help one face and overcome this world (John 16:33), and this is the most important life lesson I learned.
INFORMATION IS NOT KNOWING OR SEEING
About 8 years ago, something stirred in me and sparked a search for something more. I started reading all sorts of books, except the Bible.
Around that same time, my buddy invited me to attend a Bible Study Fellowship (BSF) introduction class. I was seated right at the front row during lecture, arrogant and thinking, “I know who Jesus is, he is the son of God and the lamb of God! He was crucified, died for the sins of mankind and resurrected.” Nothing from the lecture penetrated this thick skull, yet this kept looping: “Jesus is the Son of God. Jesus is the Lamb of God.” Then suddenly, “If Jesus is the Son and the Lamb, then who is GOD??” The search was over! The veil lifted and my life changed.
Head knowledge and heart seeing are from two different worlds. Knowledge does not equate to seeing/hearing.
REUNITED WITH HIM – BAPTISM
After reconciling with God, we embarked into Christendom! The women in BSF were very encouraging. This time round I had a God-focused environment to study the Word and grow in Biblical knowledge. During one discussion, one of the women mentioned that sometimes when we ask God a question and flip the Bible, the answer will be there, and I thought that was super cool! One night, thoughts of water baptism crossed my mind. It was just a fleeting thought. Next minute, I asked, “Father, what do you have for me tonight?” and playfully flipped the Bible. Lo and behold, my eyes fell on John 3:5 and I was like, “Woah!!!” The next day, I started calling churches to ask if they would baptize me, but none wanted to, saying, “You are not a member, you need to attend such and such a class, etc etc.” After a few days, I gave up and lamented, “Father, how I wish I was back in Jesus’ days where I can just walk up to John and be baptized. He will welcome me with open arms!”
A week later, feeling bored, I did the same thing again: “Father, what do you have for me tonight?” and flipped the Bible. My eyes fell on these 4 words: “Do as I command”. So, the next day I called a friend and she suggested to call her sister’s church as she had heard that sometimes they do baptize non-members. Long story short, I called the church, shared my story, went for an interview, attended prayer meetings, church service and was baptized 3 weeks later on Easter Sunday! Praise the Lord for paving the way! Received my Spirit(Fire) baptism 1 to 2 months later and my walk with Him grew exponentially. (PS: This Bible flipping thingy no longer works after the baptism. I kept getting non-related verses. Haha… guess it had served its purpose.)
PRAYERS ANSWERED – INSTRUMENT OF GOD
This event happened shortly after my Spirit baptism, our first collaboration. One Saturday afternoon, while taking a breather from work, I received a prompt to search for something and ended up on Wesley Methodist’s (church I was visiting at that time) website. Unknowingly, I landed on the ongoing church camp T-shirt design competition page. Suddenly a vision of a cross with rays bursting from behind flashed into my mind and was followed by another one of stained glass windows of a traditional church. Trying to make sense of what just happened, I looked at the webpage again and asked, “Father, do you want to take part in this competition?” The same visions repeated in the exact same sequence, and that confirmed His Will.
I started putting the designs together from the visions – a cross on a hill with bursting coloured rays on a black background. In the first design I submitted, the cross was near the right shoulder blade, and I thought I did a pretty good job. So I went back to work. But there was no peace. The Holy Spirit kept prodding, “If at the heart I am not, my Light cannot shine”. Unable to concentrate on work, I re-looked into the t-shirt design. Then I realized, if the design is flipped horizontally, the cross will now be directly at the person’s heart and the rays will be shining from it! I submitted this second design and checked the rules. I found out that that day was the last day of submission and there was a maximum of two designs per participant.
A week later, the church called and informed me that the second design got into the finals. Another week later, the church called again and congratulated me on winning the competition! I was overjoyed and shared the whole story with them! They were so inspired that they printed the story in their church camp booklet. But the mission was not accomplished yet. There was still the prize money, a $100 book voucher. So I asked, “Father, what would you like to do with Your prize money?” and He prompted, ‘Children’. I called up the church and asked about their children’s ministry, but somehow the puzzle piece didn’t seem to fit. I contacted another friend (after a suggestion from my buddy) who was teaching Bible Study to underprivileged children, and arranged lunch with her.
During lunch, I passed the book voucher to her. She looked at it and asked, “Is it over?” She shared that she had taken part in the competition too and had prayed every day for God to let her win so she could use the prize money to buy Bibles for the children, and broke into tears (of joy). It finally dawned on me that God was answering this faithful believer’s prayer! It was not about Him, it was about her and His little children! Now, the puzzle was complete.
PRAYERS ANSWERED – QUIT SMOKING
The next testimony am going to share is how this amazing God answered my buddy’s prayer (yes, the same buddy again, God bless her soul). She had been praying for me to stop smoking for quite some time (I only knew about this later). One afternoon, He prompted, and I thought, “with His Strength, maybe”. Up to that point I had been prepared to smoke to my grave. Things got interesting because over the following two days, both my favorite cigarette brands ran out of stock everywhere! How bizarre is that? Both brands? So I took that as His sign and encouragement, piggybacked on His Strength, and quit. And by His awesome Grace I did not experience any withdrawal symptoms after smoking for over 25 years, averaging 20 to 30 sticks a day. No headaches, no runny nose, no temper or mood-swing stuff, nothing! Tried quitting a long time ago and it was a nightmare.
The only thing was the urge/habit to smoke, and each time when it came, four huge spiritual walls would spring up surrounding me (from what, I have no idea) and a big “NO” would appear right in front of my face. It was weird, but it worked! I have not smoked since, and it’s been more than 4 years. Now when I smell cigarette or sheesha smoke, my world will spin. Well, there was this one time that I took a puff… in my dream. I knew I was dreaming and thought since it was a dream it should be ok. A cigarette was already in my hand, and a lighter appeared; I lit the cigarette and slowly inhaled… that felt good. Next moment, a voice boomed, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” Immediately, I threw the cigarette away and started laughing and woke up continuing that laugh. He keeps watch over us even in our dreams!! “Indeed, he who watches over Israel never slumbers or sleeps.” Psalm 121:4
GOD WEIGHS THE HEART NOT YOUR SEXUALITY
There were many other experiences, like how He called me to Worship Ministry @ FREE Community Church and literally taught me how to play the Cajon, where with no music background I had to rely on Him 100% for guidance. Also, there was this time when He healed my thyroid condition. My usual specialist needed to go on maternity leave and I was assigned to another specialist. This new specialist upped my prescription even though I was allergic to the medication. I was apprehensive. Then when Holy Spirit prompted it was time to stop (double confirmed with signs), I obeyed and my blood test results have been normal since. Thank you, Father!
Life with Him is filled with unending wonders and amazement. My sexuality has not stopped me from witnessing that, and neither has it kept Him from flowing into my life.
Looking back, I am really thankful that God found me before Religion did, and this is probably why my relationship with Him is not affected by external influence. God weighs the heart and not who or what you are in this world or which church you belong to. Embrace His Call. Seek Him with your whole heart, mind and soul.
Thanks for reading. Blessed Journey.
“My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me.” ~ John 10:27
